The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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