ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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