this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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