I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
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Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
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I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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