sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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