her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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