Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
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Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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