How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize