He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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