Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
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I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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