but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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