suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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