i just wanna soil my oats bro
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
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why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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