When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize