wanna go halves on a baby?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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