dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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