just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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