My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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