well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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