you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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