just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ketchup is God's man juice
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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