He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
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I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
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If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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