she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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