Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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