i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize