no you cant smoke seaweed
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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