Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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