he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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