I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize