Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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