I wish they made helmets for livers.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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