Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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