watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
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Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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