just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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