oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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