should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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