I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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