i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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