the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize