Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize