At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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