You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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