My hand turned me down
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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