i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize