Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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