I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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