so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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