everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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