omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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