Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize